Next week marks my one year anniversary.
I'm physically and emotionally better this year. Well, they're one and the same aren't they. And I am immensely grateful. I think gratitude is one of my skills. I'm always very touched by kindness. And strangers are always kind. It's family I have problems with.
Reading Psych Today, Asperger's Diary I found when googling my account, I realized my lack of interest and my sensitivity to teasing is aspy related. (I was always told I was weird and stupid. No common sense. And I learned to take it as a compliment when I thought about common sense. I never told them though. I'd have been punished.) I consider teasing the lowest form of what passes for humor in most people. Nothing clever or funny about it that I can see. And aspies just see things from a different angle. We require intelligence to survive in the mob. We learn to moderate our behaviors to fit in. I don't want to fit in. Most people below the surface are mean lizard brains fighting for survival way beyond the satisfying of their basic needs. The keeping up and surpassing the Jones' is dictated by the lizard brains. The need to acquire based on the fear of lack. The only thing mankind doesn't lack is fear. We have an universe of fear and can fabricate fear on demand. Our survival and success requires a shift from fear to compassion. Feeling with as in the bible. Brother's keeper. Judge not. If mankind cannot expand his mind and heart to demand equality and fairness for all, man is doomed to a cycle of invention and destruction. Honor thy mother and father doesn't say love them. Can you find something to respect in them? Remember, you share DNA.
Fear is used to market products. Forces us to watch programs that feed us more fear. Herbert's Dune "Fear is the mindkiller." Babies come into the world with two fears: Loud noises and falling. Parents instill (install) survival fears.
I'm ready to move beyond just surviving.
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