feeling anxious-MONDAY MONDAY

I THINK I'M PROBABLY OVER TIRED AND COMING DOWN FROM WEEKEND. 

I'M NOT USED TO DOING SO MUCH AND NOT FALLING INTO PUNISHMENT PATTERN. 

RETRAINING THE BRAIN IS SCARY. 

I'M NOT QUITE READY YET TO DEAL WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS.

SATURDAY SALEING

I WENT AND FILLED THE CAR AT COSTCO 7:30. 

MY FAVORITE THING TO DO IS LOOKING AT A VARIETY OF STUFF.  I GOT MY FILL AT THE GARAGE, RUMMAGE, ESTATE SALE.

  PS. I CALLED THE ESTATE SUNDAY, THEY WERE DONE.  I LOVED THESE WEIRD CANDLE WAX CATCHERS IN GLASS WITH CHANDELIER HANGINGS.  THEY WERE ASKING $200 FOR THE CANDLE STICKS.  I SHOULD HAVE COUNTERED BUT I WAS IN SHOCK.  NEXT TIME.

TWEEKING

I'M MAKING SMALL ADJUSTMENTS TO MY LIFE.

I JUST REALIZED I CAN USE MY OLD NYLON B-SUIT WITH BRA SEPARATE.  I DON'T HAVE TO SEW IT IN. 

I LOVE FREE THINKING. 

LOVIN' IT

IT ONLY TOOK SINCE AUG 31, 2012.  I'VE LEARNED TO LOVE MY LIFE. 

I LOVED LIFE IN GENERAL.  THE ANIMALS, PLANTS, PEOPLE.  BUT MY LIFE IS IMPROVING.  BECAUSE WE'RE HUMAN THE STAKES ALWAYS INCREASE AND THAT WHICH MAKES ONE HAPPY TODAY WILL NOT SUFFICE FOREVER.  THE HUMAN CONDITION.  THE REASON WE NO LONGER RESIDE IN CAVES OR TREES.

I'VE COME TO TERMS WITH SOUNDS, SMELLS, LIGHTS SOMETIMES STARTLING ME.

MY OBSESSIVE/COMPULSIVE IS BETTER.  GOD IS GENTLY RE-TRAINING ME.

WHEW!!

I ALMOST BLEW IT.  I SWEPT PEA SEEDS IN DRIVEWAY LAST NIGHT AND THIS MORNING AND ALMOST WENT TO SAVERS WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO MUCH.

I CAN GO ST J TOMORROW.  I HAVE A BAG OF KIDS CLOTHES FROM THE MLIB.  SOMEONE DUMPED THEM INSTEAD OF TAKING THEM TO ST J.  AND I CAN GET MY SHOP ON. 

I'M MEETING MYSELF MORE

MISSION LIBRARY:  I WANTED TO CHECK ON THE REMODEL.  NOT STARTING UNTIL SEPTEMBER. 


SOCIETY IS BECOMING MORE ACCEPTING OF QUIRKY PEOPLE.  THE CLERK AT STAPLES IS DEFINITELY DIFFERENT.  SHE DIDN'T PUSH ME TO SIGN UP FOR REWARDS AND WHEN I DID WAS OBVIOUSLY THRILLED.  BROWNIE POINTS.


SITTING IN THE COOL (88o OUTSIDE)   I'M GETTING HUNGRY.  MAYBE I'LL GO BACK TO SRS TO EAT SALAD.  IT'S SO HURRICANE WINDY TODAY.  IF I LIVED CLOSER TO THE COAST I WOULDN'T BE SO ALLERGIC.  SO MUCH STUFF IN THE AIR. 


MY ALLERGIES AND AWKWARDNESS IS PROBABLY DUE TO AUTISM.  GENETIC PREDISPOSITION.


MY TUMMY IS UPSET FROM ALLERGIES.  TOO MUCH MUCUS.  SNEEZING IS FUN THOUGH. 

HAPPINESS

WHAT THE WORLD CONSIDERS MENTAL IMPAIRMENTS ARE NECESSARY FOR THE GENERAL TENOR OF THE PLANET.  THE BALANCE BETWEEN POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE ENERGY. 

I THINK THE PLANET REQUIRES THE BALANCE AND GENERATES WHAT IT NEEDS. 

ASPIES ARE POTENTIAL HAPPINESS.  I ENCOUNTERED AN ASPY AT $ANTA WHO WAS HAPPY TO BE. 

HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE?

MORE AND MORE

I RAN INTO ANOTHER ASPY THIS AM AT THE TUB.  FULLY CLOTHED SHE CROUCHED BY THE EDGE WAITING FOR HER CAREGIVER. 

I THINK THERE'S ALWAYS BEEN A LOT OF US BUT NOT IN PUBLIC.  I LOOKED AT AUTISM MAGAZINE HERE AT LIBRARY STILL UNSATISFACTORY. 

I'VE LEARNED TO MAKE SPACE

I DON'T HAVE TO BLOG AS LONG AS I CREATE A CLEAR POST.  A GHOST POST.  A SPACE SAVER. 

I'M BECOMING CLEARER AND SO IS MY LIFE.

USING MY POWER FOR GOOD

TODAY I MET A YOUNG MAN AT SPROUTS WHO TALKED ME INTO MERC/NEWS BY CALLING IT FREE COUPONS.  EH.  I THINK HE'S AUTISTIC/VERBAL.  HE HAS THAT VIBE.  A MUSICIAN WHO DOESN'T PLAY OR SING.  I SUGGESTED MUSIC MANAGEMENT OR PRODUCTION.  HE SAID HIS MOM INSISTS HE'S A MUSICIAN ALTHO HE DOESN'T PLAY.

I DECIDED I WANT TO LAUGH FOR A LIVING. 

I JUST NEED TO FIGURE OUT THE DETAILS.

 

FEWER SYMPTOMS

I MAY BE OUTGROWING IT A LITTLE.  I AM LESS ANXIOUS.  STILL DEPRESSED AND SAD. 

I WOULDN'T CHANGE IT.  I'M GLAD I CAN FEEL CONSCIOUSLY.  MOST PEOPLE FEEL LIKE ANIMALS.  THEY'RE LIKE PIGS OR DOGS OR PIG/DOGS.  NO INTELLIGENCE TO IT.

THIS IS AFTER ERIC'S MEMORIAL SERVICE SAT-15.  PEOPLE PARADING AND POSTURING.  I DON'T KNOW.  I'M FEELING DEPRESSED.  I DID ABOVE AND BEYOND.  THEY ALL HAD THE CHANCE TO BE BETTER.  IF THEY DID ALL THEY COULD THEY'RE VERY SAD. 

GETTING CARRIED AWAY

WOW!  I JUST DISCOVERED IF I PUT THE CURSOR OVER THE BOTTOM TAB PICTURES OF ALL TABS SHOW UP.

I WAS GOING TO WRITE ABOUT GOING TO CU TODAY AS PART OF MY  NOT OBSESSING  OVER EVERYTHING.  AND I STILL CAN.  I CAN LEAVE MY BAGS IN THE LOCKER.  AND  BE BACK IN TIME TO SOAK. 

HURRAY!!!!

SYMPTOMS...

DON'T MATTER IN A PERFECTLY IMPERFECT WORLD. 

I DIDN'T FREAK NOT BANKING SAT 7-1.  I'M LESS COMPULSIVE.  MAYBE I'M FINALLY OUTGROWING ASPERGERS. 

I CAN CALMLY BANK TODAY.