Wednesday, December 1, 2010

back to the spiral

In my perception the appointment with the psychiatrist went badly.  She labeled me delusional with personality disorder.  I know I'm aspergers.  I don't want to be on the edge of the bell curve of normalcy.  Life is hard enough without someone trying to stuff me in their box of defintions for their own comfort. Been there spent most of my life there.  I'm meeting mySelf for the first time.  I'm done with merely surviving according to other people's definitions.  I'm ready to live my ethical, intergrated life.

Sometimes it seems we're in the same place because from our vantage point it seems we're in the same spot when actually we've moved one curl up.  Imagine our lives as spirals not straight lines.  Or imagine a sine wave.  A sine wave is identified by amplitude over time.  My concept of being in the flow has to do with energy.  Whether you picture or understand swimming with or against the flow.

A sine wave is graphed as a mathematical equation over time.  After doing some reading on chakras and the Hindu concept of energy wheels, it occured to me that our lives seem to go up and down in a sine wave fashion and that God or creative energy (that which created the universe) resides at the center of the wheel of life.  The closer we are to God (the laws that govern energy) the calmer, reduced amplitude, our lives seem.
Also, I thought our sine wave lives continued on the xy plane at 0 degrees or horizontally when in fact our lives progress at an angle (ex.45 degree incline).  When our lives feel most chaotic and out of our control that angle of inclination has increased.  Blast-off!!!

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