distraction from unhappy chem my biggest asset. evolution determined happy chem=survival. i've been punished my entire life for being who/what i am. i'm great. i can't hold a grudge. i'm incapable. tee hee.
unhappy=death. chemicals humans named happy because of the feeling. emotion is always the over riding decision maker. people prefer to believe their decisions are based on intelligence and logic but they aren't.
the autistic don't base their decisions on emotion. most of us observe our feelings in a semi detached fashion. we feel them and observe them without understanding or control.
addicts want the happy feeling without the let down and our bodies are biologically programmed for let down to survive. like a lab monkey choosing orgasm over food and drink may die happy but dies. addicts know their addiction is lethal and feel powerless to intervene. we're just being normal. our bodies evolved for survival in a primitive world. primitive=prime=first=original world.
autism is a jump in evolution. while my ex and his friends indulged in cocaine like good little normal monkeys i was abhorred. being one step removed from my feelings i had no desire to fit in and partake. i had no need. sex and alcohol were sufficient. i was happy not being hit or abused. and as an adult i decided i'd never tolerate abuse again. i'm work in progress not perfection.
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