Monday, November 22, 2010

11/22/10-the next generation

My hypothesis is extrapolated from reading Barry Neil Kaufman's book Son-Rise(should be underlined but I haven't figured out how, so imagine I did), that aspergers is the next mutation of homo sapiens.  Of course, he hypothesized that pollution was a man made problem motivating man to think differently.  I've just combined two of his books.  If you haven't guessed by now I'm pretty certain I'm aspergers.
I'm going to be 60 in two weeks.  Hopefully, if you're aspergers you already know it.  It resolves ssoooo much confusion in my life.  I've run across the term so many times, for so many years with no understanding.  The first time watching Becker, the Ted Danson doctor tv sitcom.  I've always found tv to be my window to the universe.  In later years watching PBS I saw a documentary on Temple Grandin who I first thought was a man walking around a ranch and then learned she had been diagnosed as a child and thankfully against the advice of doctors who wanted to institutionalize her, was raised by her equally remarkable,talented and unique mother.

Last year a feature film was made of her life so far and I found it at the library.  I've come to realize my problems being understood and understanding others has a name.  My family was consumed by money and using others.  Normal.  I have never been able to be interested in the things most people find fascinating.  The reality shows are not accurate, logical depictions of life.  Most are manufactured scripts to incite emotion.

Ahh, my background.  The last 9 years I've been pretty much bedridden (actually bedriding would be more accurate and applicable)  so I've had a lot of time to assess and reassess my life.  Like Temple, I have some memories that are seemingly set in permanent storage. 

The beginning of 2010 marked the beginning of my feeling better and healing a ripped up back.  I attempted to remove my mother's body from the bathtub in which she died.  I couldn't get her out but I did manage to rip all the lovely scar tissue protecting my past boo boos.  The hysteria and shock separated me from insisting that my back, neck, and skull were injured.  Kaiser in the form of different doctors and nurses insisted I was depressed ( My mother had just died) and I was going through menopause.  Back pain are symptoms of both.  And a BACK INJURY.  Come on people.

I'd hurt my back before so I had a head start in what I needed to do.  There is always more. 
Seeing how she thinks and her explanations in the special features was an epiphany.  The criticisms and confusion in my childhood was suddenly made clear.  Finally, someone like me!!!  Read her book.

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