I ACTUALLY CHOSE TO BLOG THIS A M

FOR THE FIRST TIME I FEEL LIKE BLOGGING. THIS DOESN'T FEEL LIKE A JOB I'M FORCED TO DO, I WANT TO BLOG.

I GOOGLED ASPERGERSNEXT AND I'M LINKED TO MY OTHER BLOGS.



I FOUND A BRAND NEW UNOPENED SET OF CHANGE YOUR THINKING, CHANGE YOUR LIFE LAST WEEK HERE AT SENIORS.  TWO DVDS, BOX OF 6 CDS, AND A JOURNAL.  TURNED OUT TO BE JUNK.

I'M STILL FEELING ANXIOUS.  I USED THE HYPNOSIS CD FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT TO SLEEP. 

I CALLED FIRST UNITED CU, RE; MY IRA TO CONSOLIDATE ACCOUNTS AND MAKE MY LIFE SIMPLER.  I HAVE UNTIL TUESDAY THE 29TH AND THEY ARE OPEN SATURDAYS 9-1.

I'LL KEEP ME POSTED.

"NORMAL" ANIMAL BEHAVIOR

ALL MY ASPERGER SYMPTOMS ENGENDERED NEGATIVE REACTIONS FROM MY FAMILY BECAUSE THEY REACTED AS ANIMALS NOT HUMANS.

THEY MADE ME SMARTER, HAVING TO SURVIVE.

I'M LEARNING MORE AND MORE OF MY QUIRKY BEHAVIOR IS NORMAL FOR ASPERGERS.

 HOW DO I USE IT NOW?

I FOUND A REFERENCE TO AUTISTIC ADVOCACY.ORG IN SUNDAY'S PAPER. NO HELP.

I'M ASSIGNING THE DAY TO ASPERGERS

I KNEW SOME STORE HAD TUNA FOR 58 FRIDAY AND FORGOT TO CHECK SAFEWAY ONLINE.  DOWNSTAIRS THE ADS I LEFT YESTERDAY WERE STILL THERE AND IT WASN'T SAFEWAY IT WAS LUCKY'S.

I DROVE TO LUCKYS TO REDEEM MY SAVEMART FREEBIE YOGURT, AND THE TUNA FOR 58: FRIDAY, SAT/SUN.

I CHECKED THE CLEARANCE VEGGIES AND FOUND A SMALL TRAY FOR 1.99.

I CHECKED THE CLEARANCE SECTION AND FOUND COOKIES FOR 99 AND A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF WITHOUT TAGS.  SO I TOOK THEM TO CUSTOMER SERVICE AND IT WAS CLOSED FOR THE DAY.  SO I WENT TO SELF-CHECK OUT AND ASKED TO SCAN THEM AND THE XMAS STUFF WAS REGULAR PRICE.  THERE WAS ONE CORNBREAD STUFFING MIX , THE SAME I GOT AT SAVEMART FOR 99 BUT IT SCANNED 6.29. 

SO I RANG UP THE YOGURT AND COOKIES AND VEGGIES AND THE REWARDS CARD COUPON DIDN'T WORK.  SO THE CLERK ASKED THE OFFICE AND THE STORE MANAGER CAME OUT TO EXPLAIN THE REWARDS WERE SEPARATE NOW. 

I'VE GOTTEN FREE PASTA, SODA, ETC. FROM LUCKY. 
HE HAD TO REMOVE THE YOGURT.  I HAVE TO GET IT FROM SAVEMART.  SO I ASKED HIM ABOUT THE CLEARANCE ITEMS AND HE ASKED ME WHICH ONES, SO I TOLD HIM THE GLUTINO CORNBREAD STUFFING ,7 CANDIED FRUIT, AND TWO CHERRIE JUICES.  HE SAID I COULD HAVE THEM FOR $1/EA.  I ASKED HOW DO I DO THAT ON THE MACHINED AND HE SAID THE SELF-CHECK CLERK HAD TO DO IT AND HE WOULD TELL HIM.  I WENT TO GET THE ITEMS.  I WAS SOO HAPPY I DIDN'T NOTICE WHICH MACHINGE I WAS AT.  THEN HE REMINDED ME I HADN'T FINISHED THE ORIGINAL SALE.  SO WHEN I TRIED TO RE-RING THE COOKIES AND VEGS IT WOULDN'T TAKE MY DISCOVER CARD.  USING THE SAME CARD TWICE LOCKS THE MACHINE.  I HADN'T NOTICED.  I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I'VE FORGOTTEN STUFF AND WENT THROUGH THE LINE AGAIN.  SO HE HAD TO HELP ME AGAIN AND UNLOCK THE MACHINE.

SINCE I WAS RIGHT BY THE RECYCLE I THOUGHT ABOUT STOPPING BUT I'D HAVE TO GET MY CASH FROM THE SAME CLERK SO I DECIDED TO WAIT FOR ANOTHER DAY.

I LEFT AND SAW A CITY LIBRARIAN AND ASKED IF SHE WORKED THERE AND SHE SAID YES AND SHE'D SEEN ME MANY TIMES TOO. SO WE TALKED ABOUT MEDICARE AND THE SENIOR CENTER AND THE POOLS ,ETC.  SHE HELD OUT HER HAND AND SAID HER NAME IS EMILY.  SWEET.  WE PARTED COMPANY.  I GOT IN THE CAR AND REMEMBERED THE TUNA.

SO I WENT BACK IN AND LOOKED FOR THE TUNA IN THE CANNED MEAT SECTION AND TOOK 10 OF WHAT I THOUGHT WERE THE ONES.  THEY RANG UP AT 1.50 EA.

IN THE MEANTIME CLERK 1 RAN AWAY SO CLERK 2 LOOKS AND THERE'S AN ENDCAP FULL OF PRODUCT.  SO I FINALLY GOT MY TUNA.

OUR BRAINS WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

I'M STILL A LITTLE FREAKED OUT RUNNING INTO AIL AT CHASE BANK PARKING.  SHE PULLED UP AFTER ME, RIGHT NEXT TO ME.  HELENE WONDERED IF SHE HAD FOLLOWED ME.  1-2-2016 SATURDAY AFTER SENIOR EXERCISE.


SHE SAID HAPPY NEW YEAR SUSAN.  NOT SUE.  I RESPONDED IN KIND AND WAITED TO CALM AND CENTER AND BALANCE MYSELF BEFORE GOING INTO THE BANK.  I'M STILL GUARDING MYSELF.


WITHOUT CONSCIOUSLY SEEKING THEM OUT I CHOOSE TO TRY TO BEFRIEND:  ARLENE, IRENE, TOKI(WHO I FOUND OUT THIS WEEK IS NAMED EILEEN).  WHAT ARE THE ODDS???  PRETTY ODD TO ME.


I'M IN A STATE OF ANXIETY.  I WANT TO LIVE IN A STATE OF COMFORT. 


THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA = THE STATE OF COMFORT.


I KARAOKED LAST NIGHT.  MY VOICE GAVE OUT AFTER TWO SONGS.  I WATCHED THE NEW SEASON OF TWO BROKE GIRLS AND ???   BIG BANG?  I DON'T REALLY RECALL. 


I STARTED EXERCISING AFTER LUNCH WHEN IT'S MUCH QUIETER AND LESS CROWDED.  EVENINGS AFTER 5 ARE BUSIER. 

symptoms

TYPICAL.  I LOST TRACK OF THIS PAGE.  PUT IT UNDER ADULT.

AT LEAST I CAN STILL LAUGH.

I FEEL SO SAD.

LAUGH CLOWN LAUGH.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M CLEARING EMOTIONALLY.

DAD WAS REALLY A HORRIBLE FATHER AND MY MALE RADAR IS SET FOR DISASTER JUST LIKE MOM.

I WANT TO BE ME, NOT ANYONE ELSE.  IF I MAKE MISTAKES I WANT THEM TO BE MINE.  NOT REPEATING SOMEONE ELSE'S.

           FRESH AND NEW TEACHABLE MISTAKES.  DIVINE MISTAKES.


I WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO BE MYSELF. I WAS BEATEN AND TORTURED AND CONDITIONED TO SUBMIT TO THEM AND ALL LIKE THEM. 


                                           I RESPOND ANEW.

ANXIETY IS JUST ASPERGERS+TOMORROW MY SECOND B'DAY

I'M FEELING ANXIOUS.  JUST A PART OF THIS BODY AND I GUESS WHAT IT REPRESENTS.  I WROTE TO AUNTY AND UNCLE AND FORGOT TO TELL THEM OF THE DREAM OF THE SIXTH, TOMORROW, BEING MY BIRTHDAY EVEN THOUGH IN THE DREAM I KNEW DECEMBER SIXTH IS MY BIRTHDAY TOO.

I'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE.

SO THE ANXIETY IS KEEPING ME ON ALERT.  MAYBE THAT'S A PART OF INTELLIGENCE AND WHY MOST PEOPLE SEEM DENSE.  I THOUGHT DENSENESS LINKED TO STRESS BUT IF WE CHOOSE OUR LIVES THEN WE CHOOSE THE LEVELS OF STRESS TO LIVE WITHIN.  WE CHOOSE THE LEVEL OF DENSENESS.

MAYBE I'M JUST HANGING OUT WITH THE WRONG PEOPLE.  SENIORS MAY NOT BE VERY BRIGHT.

MEANWHILE T TOOK ME TO ALPINE INN MONDAY FOR BURGERS AND ON THE WAY HOME IN HIS MEANDERING WAY I SAW A SIGN FOR ST NIC'S RUMMAGE THIS WEEKEND.

                                      MIRACLE

Can't hurt me, I am aspergers

Last month Kimo went around telling people he didn't like we can no longer go to St. Justin's for senior lunch.  Like our feelings would be hurt and we'd shrivel up and die.


I wonder if that was the intention.


Sophia missed me last month even though I've explained it to her a number of times.  She insists I come as her guest January 4, 2015.  Commanding when she wants to be. 


Walter Jr. was affected but Kimo has done so much to me that I don't care.  Little slights and insults at lunch and the puzzle table.  So petty and bush league compared to my "family" makes me laugh.


Kind of makes me happy. 


Been rereading Standing in the Rainbow, Fannie Flagg.  I know it's physically impossible but with colored plastic lights it could be done.  Hmmm...