the variation in connectivity allows for focus in new configurations. sorting out the emotional connections last creates the most logical sequence for survival. our feelings are secondary to curiosity. we have to find how things work cause and effect. doesn't apply to people. therefor confusing. we don't do well with confusion.
it's about survival of the species not the individual. evolution is cruel.
to be in the world and not of it. i'm feeling tired full of toxins and yet content. it's been 6 months non nicotine and new behaviors. the toxins are leaching from my tissues and i'm missing the nicotine. autism a*d*d makes it hard to stay addicted. i keep forgetting. comes and goes like the tide.
an hour to lunch. the lucky's friday freebie 'perfect bar' is honey 24% and almond butter.
i can read and love learning new facts. the stomach brain is so much smarter and more dependable than the head brain. the stomach is more reliable probably because it's older than the head brain. the head brain can rationalize and be wrong.
lying is powerful.
Trump uses lies and emotions to short circuit both brains. CONTROL.
pg. 152 fear conditioning in mice 2 generation genetic impact. the feelings you feel may not be your own. could be genetic program. genes are loaded gun behaviors and life choices are the trigger.
COPS-California Occupational Personality Survey didn't take into account autism obsession suggested researcher. i do love learning.
takes a lot of disciplined focused energy. the most effective is teaching myself new thinking. letting go of the past. listening to subliminal healing music.
i went to cup library last day to pick up requested "dreamer". i stuck face cloth in swim suit bra to cool down and forgot it until i wanted to wash my face. here for hours.
we are the perfect scientists with an unique perspective. the body feelings are integrated into the human experience. like a guru i can experience the pain i endure without flinching. as if i have a veil i can draw across distancing the sharpness the pain is still intense.
1966 open heart surgery to correct a genetic defect the tube in my lungs to drain fluids didn't hurt except when the nurse ripped it from my body without anesthetic. now my ribs are sore. when i focus on the pain the body remembers. muscle memory that drives the car and brushes our teeth is hard wired. 1972 fall muscle spasms left side hip leg take my breath away and feeling nauseous.
