still-AND COVID

THEORY IS WE OUTGROW ASPERGERS BUT WE DON'T. WE LEARN HOW TO COPE.  LIKE MY A-D-D.  IT HELPS TO GAIN RESPITE FROM ANXIETY BUT THE ANXIETY IS PART OF THE PREY CONDITION.  I CAN FOCUS OUTSIDE MYSELF.  

ASPERGERS IS AN EVOLUTIONARY STEP IN DEVELOPMENT.  ASPERGERS PEOPLE SPECIALIZE IN NARROW SPECIFIC AREAS.  SO EACH OF US IS FASCINATED BY DIFFERENT THINGS.  NON COMPETITION.  OUR EXPERTISE IS SPECIFIC.  SOLVING SPECIFIC  PROBLEMS.

WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE I SUBSCRIBED TO PSYCHOLOGY TODAY AT A DRASTICALLY REDUCED RATE TO ENCOURAGE LATER FULL SUBSCRIPTION.  ONE OF THE ARTICLES ADDRESSED OVERPOPULATION PREDICTING RISES IN HOMOSEXUALITY AND VIOLENT CRIMES AS A MEANS OF LIMITING POPULATION.  WHICH WE HAVE.  AND COVID IS PESTILENCE.

PSYCHOLOGICALLY WE'RE PRODUCING AUTISTIC PEOPLE PREY PEOPLE.  WE ARE NON PREDATORS.  PREDATORS ARE GREEDY KILLERS.  PREY PEOPLE ARE HERD PEOPLE.  WE JUST WANT TO LIVE PEACEFULLY TOGETHER.

SPORTS, CONTESTS, COMPETITION REQUIRES WINNERS AND LOSERS; PREDATORS AND PREY.   TO SURVIVE AS A SPECIES MANKIND MUST EVOLVE BEYOND COMPETITION.  COMPETITION ASSUMES FINITE RESOURCES.  THE WHOLE KILL OR BE KILLED EAT OR BE EATEN.

WE NO LONGER LIVE IN THAT REALITY.  WE CAN DO BETTER BE BETTER.  COVID IS FORCING THE WORLD TO BE CONSCIOUS OR DIE.  

LOOKING BACK

I SOUND LIKE A ROBOT.  I REREAD MY FIRST POSTS.  WOW.

I AM MUCH MORE INTEGRATED.

IS IT JUST ME?

I GET THE SAME SENSATION IN MY SKULL AS WHEN I DRANK SODA.  FEELING THOUSANDS OF BUBBLES. 

MY BODY IS PROCESSING HUNDREDS OF INJURIES.  THE PHYSICAL ONES ARE OBVIOUS THE EMOTIONAL INJURIES ARE CHEMICAL IMPRINTS. 

LIFE IS CHEMISTRY.

I NOTICE

ASPERGER'S IS DETAILS.  I SEE PATTERNS.  I THINK IT CAN BE TAUGHT.

THE ANSWER TO SUCCESS IN LIFE IS BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

I'M USING AFFIRMATIONS AND IT'S WORKING.  I'M TAKING MY TIME, GOING SLOWER AND AVOIDING MISTAKES.

BEAUTY

I'VE NOT SEEN THE LACK OF RESPECT.  I'VE ONLY SEEN THE BEST IN FREDRICK GOULD AND MARGEE WHEELER. 

I'VE LIVED THE IMPERSONAL LIFE.  MY AUTISM REMOVED THE INEQUITY.  BOTH OF THEM OMITTED ME FROM THEIR WEDDINGS.  USED ME TO REALIZE THEIR DREAMS.  HER TRUE LOVE, MARRIAGE AND CAREER, HIS HEALING CIRCLE AND MARRIAGE. 

I LIKE ATTENDING WEDDINGS.

WE LEARN TO DEAL

WE LEARN BEHAVIORS TO OFFSET OUR SYMPTOMS.  WE NEVER OUT GROW IT.  DOCTORS, SCIENTISTS KNOW NOTHING ABOUT IT.  UNLESS THEY LIVE IT THEY'LL NEVER KNOW. 

I'M LEARNING, TEACHING MYSELF NEW BEHAVIORS.  AND IT'S SCARY.  I WANT A BETTER LIFE.  AND I'M WILLING TO LEARN A BETTER LIFE.

OMG

I DIDN'T TAKE TIME TO LISTEN TO LOUISE HAY.  I'M BALANCING DAD'S DEATH WITH MR ROGER'S NEIGHBORHOOD DOCUMENTARY.  BAD DAD/GOOD DAD.

I CAME TO CUPERTINO LIBRARY AFTER EXERCISE, SAFEWAY BAKERY, FOUND TWO QUARTERS IN PAY PHONE, AND NOW I'M LISTENING TO LOUISE HAY AND POSTING THIS.

WOOHOO!!