HAPPY VALENTINES TO ME

64 PAGEVIEWS

TILT=ASPERGERS ANXIETY-NO FILTERS

trying to describe my experience to little girls from scu.

I THINK KIDS SHUT DOWN DUE TO LACK OF FILTERS.

IT EXPLAINS THE AGE LAG.  WHEN KIDS ARE STARTING TO UNDERSTAND THE WORLD MORE AT2-3-4 YEARS, IT IS JUST TOO MUCH INPUT.  TILT

MY RETICENCE IN INTERACTING WITH THE WORLD WAS BEAT OUT OF ME.  I WAS FORCED TO TALK OR I'D STARVE.  MOM REFUSED TO PUT UP WITH MY "NONSENSE".  I WONDER IF THAT'S WHY AUNTY KATCHAN WANTED TO ADOPT ME.  TO SAVE ME.

AND I THINK I HAD ENOUGH LOVING PEOPLE UNTIL AGE FOUR TO BALANCE THE TERROR.

I'M REALIZING MORE, HOW MUCH I TUNE INTO THAT OTHER PEOPLE MISS.

THOSE FILTERS CAN KEEP OUT THE GOOD TOO.

IN ORDER TO FIND MY PLACE AND PURPOSE I MUST READJUST AND ADAPT THE FILTERS I HAVE.

BEAR KAUFFMAN-SONRISE-RAUN

this came back to me while talking with the little girls from scu.


PHIL AND CLYDE-SCORPIO TWINS.  CLYDE WAS THE STAGE MANAGER AT FLINT CENTER.

CLYDE BURTON DISCOVERED BARRY KAUFFMAN ANDTHE OPTION INSTITUTE IN MAINE(?) AND WANTED TO GO SO I GAVE HIM PERMISSION TO MAX OUT HIS CREDIT CARDS AND GO TO A RETREAT.

I INVESTIGATED BEAR AND READ ALL THE BOOKS HE'D WRITTEN AND MOVIES HE MADE BEFORE OK'ING THE ADVENTURE.

HIS AUTISTIC SON, RAUN I READ ABOUT IN 1985?

WHO KNEW THEN I WAS AUTISTIC?  NOT ME!!

 MOM ALWAYS INSISTED I WAS RETARDED OR INSANE.  WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU ABOUT HER.  PROJECTIONS.

BEHAVE-BE-HAVE

OUR LIVES ARE A SERIES OF BEHAVIORS.  IN ORDER TO HAVE, BE.  BE THE BEST AND HAVE THE BEST. 

ALL DETERMINED BY WHAT YOUR HEART WANTS.  EMOTIONS ARE ENERGY IN MOTION.

THOUGHT ENERGY IS TRANSCENDENT AS IS MAGNETISM.  THE EARTH HAS MASS BECAUSE OF TINY ELECTRONS CIRCLING NEUTRONS... WHICH LEAKS AN INFINITESIMAL FRACTION OF ENERGY CREATING MAGNETISM/GRAVITY. 

WHICH IS WHY PSYCHO-CRAZY LIARS CAN HAVE RICHES.

ENERGY MAKES NO DISTINCTIONS.  IT'S NEUTRAL.  THE ELECTRONS THAT LIGHT THE LAMP ARE THE SAME AS GAS IN A CAR OR  FUEL IN THE BODY.

WHICH IS WHY UNPLEASANT PEOPLE DO ALRIGHT.  GOD/ENERGY DOESN'T JUDGE OR DIFFERENTIATE.  IT JUST CREATES.

I LOOKED ONLINE FOR COMPASS SERVICES

WANTING TO WORK WITH ASPIES I NEED TO FIND THEM.

IS 'ASPY' CHEMICAL OR STRUCTURAL?

I TOOK COLD MED LAST NITE AND MY SHOULDER BLADES WERE SO TWITCHY I HAD TO TAKE KAVA THIS A M.  MUST INCLUDE IBUPROFEN.

I FELT SO SAD AND DEPRESSED.  DAD, THE TANAKA'S MAY BE CLINICALLY DEPRESSED.  I BELIEVE MOM THOUGHT SECURITY. 

I DECIDED TO SOLDIER ON.  JUST THE WORDS THAT OCCURED.

I COOKED PRE-SOAKED S-CUT OATS.  I ADDED CHORIZO SPAM.  YUM.

I WATCHED 9:30 CLASS STRETCH.  I WENT TO SV24G-2 AND HAD GOOD STRETCH AND SOAK.  I BOUGHT PAPER FROM SFWY BECUZ IT WAS POURING BUCKETS AND I WAS SOAKED.  I DECIDED I DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE ANOTHER STOP.  GETTING IN AND OUT OF CAR IN THE POURING RAIN TAKES TOO LONG AND I WAS ALREADY SOAKED.  IT TOOK THE AC IN THE CAR ALL THE WAY TO ST. J TO DRY OUT THE INTERIOR OF THE CAR.  I SAT AND READ THE PAPER UNTIL 1.  I DIDN'T EVEN SHOP, IT WAS LESS RAIN IN SC BUT STILL TOO WET. 

I HAD A LOVELY LUNCH AND DROVE AROUND AND AROUND TRYING TO FIND LIBRARY PARKING.  I WASN'T ABOUT TO WALK FROM ST J IN THIS WEATHER.  I FINALLY FOUND PARKING ALONG THE SIDE.

MAYBE ASPERGERS IS BOTH.

BACK AT THE CLUB-ONLINE

ANOTHER DAY AT THE CLUB.

I'M STILL TRYING TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO TODAY.

T CALLED YESTERDAY TO ASK HOW I LIKED THE XMAS COOKIES.

FROM GERMANY SO MAYBE RE GIFTED.

DELICIOUS, BUT I ATE THEM TOO LATE AND COULDN'T SLEEP TIL 12.
I HAVE DVDS TO RETURN TO CAMPBELL AND CITY.

SAVERS SR DAY.

NORTHSIDE, RED ROBIN, NLIB, CHICKFILA.  OH, SAVERS IN MILPITAS TOO.

HMMMM.....

I DIDN'T DO ANY.  I WAITED TIL CAMPLIB HAD MY REQUESTS.