Sunday, December 6, 2020

pencil shavings

lisa simpson saves them like me.  aspies brains develop at different rates.  areas develop differently.  part of the totality of the universe.  if aspies aren't allowed to develop part of the universe is missing.  

10-11? year old who walks park with parents can feel when i bless him and covers his ears.  

Saturday, November 7, 2020

caravan of camels-my love of trivia-venery

alligators, congregation of

apes, monkeys-shrewdness=wicked of, 15th cent.

bats, colony,cauldron of

camels, caravan of

crows, murder of-because carrion eaters around dead bodies

dolphins, pod of

doves, pity of

ducks, paddling of

flycatchers, zipper of

geese, gaggle of

giraffes, tower of

gorillas, band of 

hippos, bloat of

hummingbirds, charm of

magpies, tidings of 

meerkats, mob of 

owls, parliament of

parrots, pandemonium of

penguins, raft of 

prairie dogs, town of

pugs, grumble of

ravens, richness of 

sea otters, romp of

turkeys, rafter of

vultures, kettle, committee, wake of

Wednesday, October 28, 2020

love me

all anyone wants is love.  depending on how they were loved as a child love is all anyone wants and needs.  if they were abused they feel abuse as 'love'.   not supporting or sustaining but maintaining.  that's why perpetrators, drug addicts escalate.  always needing a bigger fix.  not enlivening but maintaining.

love is nurturing providing sustenance.   giving love is more important than receiving love.  giving love is life affirming.  feelings are generated energy, burning calories.  

i'm just tired of being ambushed.

Friday, June 26, 2020

oops

i'm alphabetizing, organizing my blogs.

senior lunch 9th in line i get good online reception.  there's a father and 10-11 yr old autistic son walking around park.  i think i figured out why the affect.  it's prey behavior being ready for fight-flight.


Thursday, June 25, 2020

obsessive/compulsive

HELPED ME TO FINISH PROJECTS BUT PLAYED INTO THE FAMILY SLAVE MENTALITY.  I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO SEE THINGS THROUGH.  SO MOM AND DAD RELIED ON ME TO TAKE CARE OF THEM WHEN THEY RAISED MY SISTERS TO GO OFF AND BE IRRESPONSIBLE SELFISH.  THE WORST KIND OF FISH.  MY SENSE OF HUMOR IS STILL STRONG.

I'M LEARNING TO ACCOMPLISH GOALS IN STAGES AND TO ENJOY THE PROCESS.  I'VE ALWAYS FOCUSED ON COMPLETION.  LEAVES ME EMPTY.  ALWAYS LOOKING FOR NEW GOALS.  I'M LEARNING TO ADMIRE MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS.

IT'S BEEN 6 MONTHS NON SMOKING.  MY LUNGS ARE CLEARING, COUGHING AND MY BLOODSTREAM IS FULL OF TOXINS LEAVING MY TISSUES.  I'M FEELING CRANKY, THIRSTY AND TIRED.

OH, JOY.


Saturday, May 30, 2020

still-AND COVID

THEORY IS WE OUTGROW ASPERGERS BUT WE DON'T. WE LEARN HOW TO COPE.  LIKE MY A-D-D.  IT HELPS TO GAIN RESPITE FROM ANXIETY BUT THE ANXIETY IS PART OF THE PREY CONDITION.  I CAN FOCUS OUTSIDE MYSELF.  

ASPERGERS IS AN EVOLUTIONARY STEP IN DEVELOPMENT.  ASPERGERS PEOPLE SPECIALIZE IN NARROW SPECIFIC AREAS.  SO EACH OF US IS FASCINATED BY DIFFERENT THINGS.  NON COMPETITION.  OUR EXPERTISE IS SPECIFIC.  SOLVING SPECIFIC  PROBLEMS.

WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE I SUBSCRIBED TO PSYCHOLOGY TODAY AT A DRASTICALLY REDUCED RATE TO ENCOURAGE LATER FULL SUBSCRIPTION.  ONE OF THE ARTICLES ADDRESSED OVERPOPULATION PREDICTING RISES IN HOMOSEXUALITY AND VIOLENT CRIMES AS A MEANS OF LIMITING POPULATION.  WHICH WE HAVE.  AND COVID IS PESTILENCE.

PSYCHOLOGICALLY WE'RE PRODUCING AUTISTIC PEOPLE PREY PEOPLE.  WE ARE NON PREDATORS.  PREDATORS ARE GREEDY KILLERS.  PREY PEOPLE ARE HERD PEOPLE.  WE JUST WANT TO LIVE PEACEFULLY TOGETHER.

SPORTS, CONTESTS, COMPETITION REQUIRES WINNERS AND LOSERS; PREDATORS AND PREY.   TO SURVIVE AS A SPECIES MANKIND MUST EVOLVE BEYOND COMPETITION.  COMPETITION ASSUMES FINITE RESOURCES.  THE WHOLE KILL OR BE KILLED EAT OR BE EATEN.

WE NO LONGER LIVE IN THAT REALITY.  WE CAN DO BETTER BE BETTER.  COVID IS FORCING THE WORLD TO BE CONSCIOUS OR DIE.  


Monday, February 4, 2019

LOOKING BACK

I SOUND LIKE A ROBOT.  I REREAD MY FIRST POSTS.  WOW.

I AM MUCH MORE INTEGRATED.