I NOTICE

ASPERGER'S IS DETAILS.  I SEE PATTERNS.  I THINK IT CAN BE TAUGHT.

THE ANSWER TO SUCCESS IN LIFE IS BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

I'M USING AFFIRMATIONS AND IT'S WORKING.  I'M TAKING MY TIME, GOING SLOWER AND AVOIDING MISTAKES.

BEAUTY

I'VE NOT SEEN THE LACK OF RESPECT.  I'VE ONLY SEEN THE BEST IN FREDRICK GOULD AND MARGEE WHEELER. 

I'VE LIVED THE IMPERSONAL LIFE.  MY AUTISM REMOVED THE INEQUITY.  BOTH OF THEM OMITTED ME FROM THEIR WEDDINGS.  USED ME TO REALIZE THEIR DREAMS.  HER TRUE LOVE, MARRIAGE AND CAREER, HIS HEALING CIRCLE AND MARRIAGE. 

I LIKE ATTENDING WEDDINGS.

WE LEARN TO DEAL

WE LEARN BEHAVIORS TO OFFSET OUR SYMPTOMS.  WE NEVER OUT GROW IT.  DOCTORS, SCIENTISTS KNOW NOTHING ABOUT IT.  UNLESS THEY LIVE IT THEY'LL NEVER KNOW. 

I'M LEARNING, TEACHING MYSELF NEW BEHAVIORS.  AND IT'S SCARY.  I WANT A BETTER LIFE.  AND I'M WILLING TO LEARN A BETTER LIFE.

OMG

I DIDN'T TAKE TIME TO LISTEN TO LOUISE HAY.  I'M BALANCING DAD'S DEATH WITH MR ROGER'S NEIGHBORHOOD DOCUMENTARY.  BAD DAD/GOOD DAD.

I CAME TO CUPERTINO LIBRARY AFTER EXERCISE, SAFEWAY BAKERY, FOUND TWO QUARTERS IN PAY PHONE, AND NOW I'M LISTENING TO LOUISE HAY AND POSTING THIS.

WOOHOO!!

MATURATION/VIOLENCE

WE CONTINUE BEING AUTISTIC.  WE LEARN TO OVERLAY OUR GENETIC DISPOSITION WITH SOCIALLY PREFERRED BEHAVIORS BUT THE GENETIC TENDENCIES ARE STILL THERE IN TIMES OF STRESS AND ONLY BY SELF DISCIPLINE CAN THOSE TENDENCIES BE OVER RIDDEN.  AND NEVER REMOVED.  THEY'RE GENETIC.

WHEN STRESSED WE INTROVERT.  WE HAVEN'T THE ABILITY FOR VIOLENCE BECAUSE IT DOESN'T EXIST IN OUR GENETIC CODING.  WE HAVE SELF PROTECTION, SELF DEFENSE BECAUSE IT'S CORE PROGRAMMING.  VIOLENCE IS A PERVERTED FORM OF SELF DEFENSE.  PROCREATION IMPERATIVE PERVERTED BECOMES RAPE.

ONE OF THE FIRST ACTS OF TOTALITARIAN GOVERNMENTS IS TO SUBVERT SEX TO CHANNEL THAT VIGOR INTO VIOLENCE AGAINST A SCAPEGOAT.  DIVIDE AND CONQUER NOT ONLY GROUPS BUT INDIVIDUALS BY FORCING THEM TO BETRAY THEMSELVES, GIVING UP THEIR IDEALS.

BEHAVIORS

I'VE LEARNED TO ADAPT AND ADJUST.  I'M MORE PATIENT AND UNDERSTANDING WITH MYSELF.  I'M RESTING MORE AND EXERCISING MORE.  I'M TAKING BETTER CARE OF MYSELF.  I'M READING BOOKS I LOVE.  MY FAVORITE THING TO DO.

I THINK

AUTISM IS ALL ABOUT FEELING.  LIFE IS ALL ABOUT FEELING.  PEOPLE BELIEVE THEY THINK THEIR LIVES BUT WE BASE DECISIONS ON FEELINGS.

I THOUGHT I WAS DOING BETTER BUT I LOST MY PHONES.  MY ATTENTION DEFICIT/DISTRACT ABILITY.   MOM'S DEATHIVERSARY GOT IN THE WAY.  AND I STARTED PHYSICAL THERAPY AND LOOKING FOR A CAR THIS WEEK.  I'VE BEEN DOING THE STEPS.  IT'S VERY HARD.

AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO 24 HR GRAND OPENING IN MILPITAS. MY COMPULSIONS ARE BETTER.

THAT WHICH MAKES ME SPECIAL

I ACCOMPLISHED EVERYTHING I WANTED.  A GOOD EPITAPH.  I BOUGHT TWO DRESSES FRIDAY.  ONE FIT GREAT, THE OTHER NOT.  I TOOK IT BACK TO COSTCO. 

I WENT EARLY TO SRS. INGA WAS AWOL.  I PUZZLED, TUBBED, LUNCHED, DECIDED TO GO CITIBANK.  WALKED TO LUCKY'S, ZERO.  ST J, ZERO.  WALGREEN'S SMOKES, ON TO COSTCO.  HOME 3:11.

MY ASPIES MAKES ME SPECIAL.  SETTING GOALS AND DOING THEM MAKES ME HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE.

THE NEWER ME

AS MY BODY REMODELS INJURIES MY THOUGHTS AND ATTITUDES ARE EVOLVING AND MY LIFE IS CHANGING.

I'M HAPPIER THAN I'VE EVER BEEN.  I HAVE PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE.  IF ONE HAS LOVE EVERYTHING ELSE FOLLOWS.  OR MAYBE LOVE IS ALL IMPORTANT AND NOTHING ELSE IS REALLY IMPORTANT.

GREAT!

THE OLDER I GET THE MORE COMFORTABLE WITH MY QUIRKS.  I WENT TO CAREMORE FOR MY CHECK-UP.  THEY ARE SO NICE.  I'M TREATED AS A PERSON UNLIKE AT KAISER.  I FEEL WELL CARED FOR. 

DR FRANK ENCOURAGED MORE PLANT PROTEIN BUT I NEED MEAT.

SON-RISE

I SAW IT FOR THE FIRST TIME ON TV.  NOT GREAT.  OK.  THE KID IN IT WAS BRILLIANT.  OR THEY HAD A REAL AUTISTIC CHILD.  I'LL HAVE TO LOOK IT UP. 

MALAISE

I HADN'T CONSIDERED WHEN DORIS FRACTURED HER SPINE SHE WAS ON 6 MONTH BED REST TO ALLOW THE INJURY TO RELAX AND HEAL.  THE BODY'S NATURAL REACTION TO STRESS IS TO LOCK, TIGHTENING THE STRUCTURE IN AN ATTEMPT TO LIMIT FURTHER DAMAGE.  ERGO THE SIX MONTHS.  I DIDN'T DO ANY OF THAT.  I EXERCISED AND STRETCHED IN AN ATTEMPT TO FIX MY BACK AND IT OBVIOUSLY HASN'T WORKED. 

SO USING THE HOT TUB AND STRETCHING IS SLOWLY DOING THE JOB. 

NOW MY AVERSION TO THE DECEIT ON THE PLANET=ALLERGIES.  WELL ONE CHALLENGE AT A TIME. 

DOESN'T HELP

SEEING THE PATTERN DOESN'T ALWAYS HELP.

THIS WORLD, MY WORLD IS IN A STATE OF ENTROPY.  AFRAID TO TRY SOMETHING NEW. STAYING WITH THE OLD KNOWN UNHAPPINESS.  AFRAID OF OUT OF THE FRYING PAN INTO THE FIRE.

WHO KNOWS IF THERE IS A FIRE?

IF YOU TRY SOMETHING NEW AND IT DOESN'T WORK GO BACK TO THE OLD.

WHAT I SEE

I HAVE TO SEE THE ENTIRE PICTURE.  I'M GETTING FASTER AT SOLVING PUZZLES.  WHAT AM I TO DO WHEN I LOSE INTEREST IN PUZZLES? 

I'LL FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO WHEN I BECOME MORE ME.  MAYBE ART.  I HAVE BEEN BUYING MATERIALS FOR ART AND BEAD WORK.  I'VE BEEN REPAIRING THINGS EFFORTLESSLY.  IT MAY BE TIME TO CREATE.  EFFORTLESSLY.



 

MISOPHONIA

WATCHING SUNDAY MORNING CH 5 THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE SUPER SENSITIVE TO CERTAIN SOUNDS.

SOME SOUNDS MAKE ME SOOOOOO ANGRY.

ONE OF THE SYMPTOMS OF ASPIES,

GETTING TO KNOW ME

WONDERFUL PEACE FILLED DAY.  I FINALLY REMEMBERED TO STOP AT NOB HILL.  THEY OPENED 10 DAYS AGO.  GRAND OPENING MARCH.  THEY OPEN 6 AM.

I WENT TO G2 AT MY OWN SPEED 8 AM, $V I BOUGHT 18 COMEDY DVDS, TACOS AND RODEO CHICKEN @ B-KING, LUCKY'S  BARGAINS, HOME 1:30, REST, BED 10:30.

TYGJ FOR A WONDROUS DAY.  I FEEL RELAXED.

EVERYONE'S ASPY...

TO SOME DEGREE. 

LIVING IN DENIAL IS PART OF THE HUMAN CONDITION OR WE COULDN'T GET UP IN THE MORNING.  MOURNING WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN.  WHAT NIGHT HAS SEEN.

WAXING POETIC. 

POETIC VS P0ETIC.  IF I REPLACE THE LETTER O WITH ZERO SPELLCHECK MARKS IT MISSPELLED.  HUH.

MY ASPERGER'S.

THIS BEAUTIFUL FANTASTIC

AMAZING TO FIND A MODERN TALE WITH NEW ELEMENTS.  QUIRKY PEOPLE WHO FIND, LOVE, PROTECT EACH OTHER WITH A PERFECT BEGINNING.

outside the box

I FOUND HOUSEHOLD HACKS.  VARIOUS USES FOR COMMON ITEMS.  WHO NU.?

house fixes-ASK THIS OLD HOUSE

CLEANING BRICK-MILD ACID DETERGENT.  DRY BRUSH. WET/WATER BEFORE CLEANING.  APPLY TOP TO BOTTOM.  REPEAT. 

ORCHDS-NEED 15 o DIFFERENCE DAILY.  WEEKLY SOAK/DRY OUT.  WEAKLY  WEEKLY FERTILIZE,  INDIRECT SUNLIGHT=GREEN/YELLOW LEAVES HEALTHY HAPPY.

"ZERO MASS"- WATER/ELECTRICITY GENERATION FROM SOLAR POWER.