symptoms

TYPICAL.  I LOST TRACK OF THIS PAGE.  PUT IT UNDER ADULT.

AT LEAST I CAN STILL LAUGH.

I FEEL SO SAD.

LAUGH CLOWN LAUGH.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M CLEARING EMOTIONALLY.

DAD WAS REALLY A HORRIBLE FATHER AND MY MALE RADAR IS SET FOR DISASTER JUST LIKE MOM.

I WANT TO BE ME, NOT ANYONE ELSE.  IF I MAKE MISTAKES I WANT THEM TO BE MINE.  NOT REPEATING SOMEONE ELSE'S.

           FRESH AND NEW TEACHABLE MISTAKES.  DIVINE MISTAKES.


I WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO BE MYSELF. I WAS BEATEN AND TORTURED AND CONDITIONED TO SUBMIT TO THEM AND ALL LIKE THEM. 


                                           I RESPOND ANEW.

ANXIETY IS JUST ASPERGERS+TOMORROW MY SECOND B'DAY

I'M FEELING ANXIOUS.  JUST A PART OF THIS BODY AND I GUESS WHAT IT REPRESENTS.  I WROTE TO AUNTY AND UNCLE AND FORGOT TO TELL THEM OF THE DREAM OF THE SIXTH, TOMORROW, BEING MY BIRTHDAY EVEN THOUGH IN THE DREAM I KNEW DECEMBER SIXTH IS MY BIRTHDAY TOO.

I'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE.

SO THE ANXIETY IS KEEPING ME ON ALERT.  MAYBE THAT'S A PART OF INTELLIGENCE AND WHY MOST PEOPLE SEEM DENSE.  I THOUGHT DENSENESS LINKED TO STRESS BUT IF WE CHOOSE OUR LIVES THEN WE CHOOSE THE LEVELS OF STRESS TO LIVE WITHIN.  WE CHOOSE THE LEVEL OF DENSENESS.

MAYBE I'M JUST HANGING OUT WITH THE WRONG PEOPLE.  SENIORS MAY NOT BE VERY BRIGHT.

MEANWHILE T TOOK ME TO ALPINE INN MONDAY FOR BURGERS AND ON THE WAY HOME IN HIS MEANDERING WAY I SAW A SIGN FOR ST NIC'S RUMMAGE THIS WEEKEND.

                                      MIRACLE